Nighttime Hosts Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Plan

TV's top comedians devoted the broadcast criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's newly launched visa program, called the "golden visa," characterizing it as a blatant pay-for-access scheme for the affluent.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Spin

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a mock holiday song targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... spoils each thing he handles."

The focus was the controversial initiative which permits international citizens to buy U.S. legal status for an investment of a million dollars, or "top-tier" option for 5 million. The program's portal guarantees processing "faster than ever."

"A quick thought here to affluent immigrants: before you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also intended to "extract cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, with hefty costs. "That is a lot of fees, however if you sign up, you also get free accommodation at a property of your selection – if it's the that one hotel," he said.

"Unprecedented background check the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these people truly are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your choice."

"Perhaps it's time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval numbers during financial anxiety. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a effort to discuss prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of food items, and behaved oddly to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by criticizing conservative news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.